Biweekly Update From Ira's Intercontinental March on Maturation #14 [Last Ping]

Sup gangsta? Big update so let's push, I'm very technically running behind on this edition of the biweekly, but if you have haven't learned to expect the unexpected at this point in the intercontinental march then I really don't know what to tell you. In addition to being so over expectations I've got three other fat findings from my trip which have to do with: 1) a new respect for work because I don't trust how I (or anyone for that matter) will spend extended amounts of unstructured and unsupervised time (see my chess.com escapades for exhibit one), 2) giving myself and others way more breaks because life is hard enough as it is, and 3) some x-rated philosophy that's not approved for this general list, if ya curious, hit me up. The top three highlights from the last week of the trip and reentry were: <ol> <li>Pentannual rendezvous with Natasha Laponce - I got to see my fifth grade crush in Toronto when I flew back. She's filing taxes with her common law partner this year, as she should, and was supportive of my updates these last five years from the conglomerate and mayoral push to teaching and this full blown running away extravaganza. It's special to check in with people who you know from different times and places and especially the ones who can fill four unforgiving hours worth of analysis, looking forward to the next one Natasha!</li> <li>Biergartening with the fellas - It was awesome to be welcomed home by the guys until it wasn't! As we were closing, six months of drama bubbled up into one of the most epic conscious streams of honesty, otherwise known as a fight, I've been around since I was in the live studio audience at Jerry Springer that one time. I actually missed most of it because I went to the bathroom when it started and was sure it would all blow over by the time I got back, but when I returned it was still going on and on roids. It all raised interesting questions about what is fair/productive when telling people you care about your concerns for them, especially when those concerns start to effect yourself and others too. Realistically though, it was more of a reminder of how unproductive drinking more than three or four drinks is than anything else. Putting a happy picture with the lot of us would border on the pictures from the pyramids that made it look like I was enjoying anything but the most ruthless indigestion of my life.</li> <li>One bang bang-bang - the bang-bang is the most ingenious invention of a now disgraced stand-up comedian which has to do with eating two full breakfasts back to back. It was time to hit the diner hard after all those months of watching people cut the same damn salad on the kibbutz each day and call it breakfast just to to then bumble my way through Europe where they stick to their pretty little croissants with pretty little cups of espressoots, which is pretty, but not breakfast. I had banging company with Lionel and Rose and then my Uncle Gino and his partner in crime Barbara dropped in; there was so much to analyze that we didn't make it to the second breakfast but eating so much with so many people that I love is the height of the human condition and reassures me that I'm in the right place.</li> </ol> The first thing I did when I got on North American soil was beeline it to Chipotle where I ate two full burritos; not sure what's up with these Middle Eastern and European franchisers but they're leaving a lot of money (and salt) on the table. I can confirm that Niagara Falls still has a little bit of water to go with its casinos and Buffalo has interstates to go with their excuse for a football team. The esteemed author Professor Anthony Bradley, aka my old roommate, gave me a king's welcome when we analyzed for seven hours over wine, cheese, popcorn, and Thai, his push to turn these updates into a book that could have a 50k advance was nice too; I'll sing and dance for the publishers if they offer even a tenth of that. I was waiting to blast this update until I had a sexy job offer that I could flaunt to the list, but the issue with that plan is that it requires a sexy job offer. I had three teaching interviews last week which ran the gamut from charter af to a modern orthodox school in the Bronx and I have nibbles from data people in midtown and EPIC peeps in White Plains of all places. Most employers don't seem interested until you have an offer from somewhere else (kind of like the systemic issue of needing a girlfriend to get a girlfriend as I'm troubled to report) so hit me up for updates soon, the wave function is collapsing. I have a feeling it will shake out a little like I asked the universe for these last few months with a teaching job and some computer shing on the side. Any one of these jobs will offer excellent exercises in compliance, a chance to pay off this trip, an opportunity to build some solid routines where I'm not moving/moving jobs every 12 months, and give me a chance to keep working on the tees (Goosey, I've still got your 2020 order on my to-do, please stand by!!!), the bin, my music, and everything else that I want. <a href = "https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1HguJfqYz1mldmu9FFi9owKC87HGqod5d?usp=drive_link" target = "_blank" rel = "noopener">Photo</a> documentation as per and if you're "based" in New York and I haven't seen ya yet, let's set it up, it's time. All of this feels like maturation to me - I calmed the beast inside that questioned whether there was a better environment out there for me, got to go way deep with my Jewish identity, clarified what I want to do for this return to reality, and made some pretty epic mistakes that now make me feel strong. I'm excited that the next time I run away without a nickel in savings that I'll have already hit the most expensive spots on Earth, and more importantly, that I'll have so many friends sprinkled out there along the paths to come. Finally, I'm grateful to myself for going for it, because life is long when you go for your dreams. Love you guys, Ira